No Soy La Migra

Almost every Mexican I've ever met has been a wonderful person. Every Puerto Rican and Hondureno, too. I've met some very nice Vietnamese immigrants, and I even played chess with very cool Sikh gentlman who had short-term memory loss.

Anyway, I just wanted to say to all my immigrant readers: Welcome. Welcome to America. We embrace you just as our forefathers were embraced by the people who welcomed them to America (right before our forefathers killed them). I ask only one thing of you.

No, no. I don't care if you know what the 3 branches of government are, nor do I care if you can recite the Pledge of Alligance. Most citizens can't do those things either. No, I don't want you to take a stupid test. I would just ask you to pay some stinking taxes.

You can even send the money you earn back to your family in Peru or wherever. I don't mind. Heck, they can come, too! As long as they PAY TAXES. When you and your employer start paying your taxes, I'll stop getting those little feelings of resentment as I see your kids using my tax dollars to get educated, and then again as you take Abuela to the emergency room because her corazon hurts.

I'm even, believe-it-or-not, hunky dory with you all becoming citizens. Why not?

If you pay, you can stay, and this country will be just as much yours as it is mine. Simple as that. Bienvenudo, and pay your taxes.